We are Proud of our Best Relationships

Jesus warned us not to brag on ourselves, and He, of course, was right. But, it is perfectly acceptable to brag on others. We all brag on our kids, and especially our grandkids (I have only observed this truism with grandkids since I don’t have any grandkids of my own, yet.). We do this because we are simply crazy about them. We love to spend time with them. We love to watch them play sports, achieve things, and graduate from anything. It is not just because they are cute and sweet (they may not be).  It isn’t even necessarily because they are our blood relations. Lot’s of families have adopted kids and grandkids. We enjoy the time we spend with them because they are our kids. We have built great relationships with them, and being with them is just fun. We have cheered their triumphs, and we have walked with them through tough times. We’ve been there when they’ve needed us (and sometimes the other way round).

The kid next door could be smarter, prettier, handsomer, funnier, whatever. But, we don’t have the relationship with him. He has never crawled up in our laps for the sheer joy of just being in our presence. He has never wanted our opinions on anything. He has never tackled us around the legs when we’ve walked in the door. He has never, well…you fill in the blank. The point here is, we brag on those with whom we have great relationships. We’re proud of them and we want others to know it. Your objective is to build relationships of such quality that your clients are crazy about you and proud of you. So crazy about you that they can’t wait to see you. So proud of you that they can’t wait to tell their friends and family about you.

The Cocktail Party: Field of Prey or Hunting Ground?

Now, I don’t attend cocktail parties, but a lot of my clients do. Some of them have weekly golf outings with their favorite foursome, or play bridge with their best girlfriends. Some have other regular get togethers with family and friends. In these intimate affairs, people let their hair down. They complain about their spouses, their golf game, their taxes, and their neighbor’s dog. What you don’t want them complaining about is you.

When my clients are in those intimate social settings, I am not worried that their dissatisfaction with me will be aroused, even if there is a pretty good reason. I am not concerned that their friends or colleagues will woo them away to another advisor. I am confident that my clients will proudly boast of their relationship with me because I have built substantive and lasting relationships with them by investing extra personal time with them, in every meeting, EVERY SINGLE TIME! When they attend that gathering and investments come up, I am not concerned that my clients are walking into a dangerous field of prey with wolves lurking about, but rather a fertile hunting ground where they will bag my next referral.

Certainly, relationships aren’t the only reason clients stay with you. But, they are the main reason they stay with you long term and send you great referrals. The longevity of your client relationships and the frequency and quality of the referrals they send you are in direct proportion to the quality of the relationships you build with them. Of course, you need to give good advice, produce a reasonable return, run a well-staffed operation, and so on. But, a healthy, growing, and sustainable practice will require your very best work in the relationship department.